I... I Just...

I can't handle it.
I just can't handle it.
What is God trying to say to me?
I get so, so close!
I could feel it in my fingers. I had it!
Oppurtunity!
But things change.
I don't want to be another girl who does that thing that everyone else does!
I had something different, something special.
When was the last time you saw THAT?
I thought so.
The visions were wrong. The dream isn't real.
Just give it up while you still can.

But who am I to complain?
I have food.
Water.
Clothes.
Shoes.
Parents who love eachother.
Brains.
Looks.
My life is perfect in almost every way.
What right do I have to complain about nothing?
I am beyond lucky.
In a way, I've won the lottery of life.

But I'm still not happy.