Dating: This Is the End (If You Want It)

[Thar be paaaart three be a blowin'! *end pirate talk* This is part three: This Is the End (If You Want It)]

Unless you're homer or marge simpson, you're going to broken up with/break up with someone. Not all men are the perfect catch, which is why you need to prepare yourself.
     Lesson 1: But I Don't Want To Hurt Him! That's what you tell yourself when you try to justify when you don't break it off with your crappy boyfriend. My social studies teacher actually taught us how to break up. This is how it's done: you need three reasons. Not for yourself. Not for him. But for your friends. Rule #1 is to come out looking like the good guy, so make up three reasons why your significant other is not good. You also need to come out with a clear consience. Think of it this way: if you're breaking up in the first place, that obviously means you aren't right for each other. So Mr. Whoever will find a girl out there who is better than you (in his mind).
     Lesson 2: Forget and Not Slow Down. So you've been dumped, have you? I find the best way to cope can be found in a song by Relient K. "I'd forget and not slow down than gather regret for the things I can't change now." Dwelling on that ex-lover is NOT HEALTHY. The best way to get over someone is to remind yourself that eventually, a better guy will come along and you're better without that old guy anyway. I mean, c'mon! He dumped you for crying out loud. Take it with your head held high, but keep it out of the clouds.
     In closing, I don't understand why breakups are so sad. The fact of the matter is that because this guy broke up with you, a better one is on it's way, and cause you already know what you aren't looking for, finding the right guy becomes that much easier.

This concludes the post of loosely tied thoughts and bad transitions.

That's all, folks!
Nova.